I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
