this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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