guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
