Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
