my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
