508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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