So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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