Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
