dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
