why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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