Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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