If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
