Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Randomize
