i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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