I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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