I must be too annoying 4 u.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize