I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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