I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize