$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
