operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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