I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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