how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
