Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
