I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
