then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
