Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize