i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
