Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
