thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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