how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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