Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
