dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
