Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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