Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
