I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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