Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the day after is always just damage control
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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