He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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