jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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