So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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