I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
