1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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