I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
