i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
