apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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