She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
