toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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