peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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