just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
