I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
