this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
