What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
