cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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