i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
