Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
