Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
