you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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