After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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