Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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