i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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