Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Bring me that man meat
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
