i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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