He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
