Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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