So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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