I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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